Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
