I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
