Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
