I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize