We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
