so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
