The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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