so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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