it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize