Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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