You can't special order awesome
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
