CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
