grandma shit on top of the toilet
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
