Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize