I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
