It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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