I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
