You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
