Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
