Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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