He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
