she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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