i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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