Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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