I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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