Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
