so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
