Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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