i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
