he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's the barista slut.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
