she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
