The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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