She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize