Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
