Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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