I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
