Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
