The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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