I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
