Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
