I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
