I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Come share oat with me in your robe
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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