Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
