just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
