The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
