I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
