Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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