I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
