I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize