Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
