I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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