Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
