I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize