WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize