one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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