btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
