I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
