Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
