even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
